Nothing I write is for you
Am I still beautiful while I tear you to pieces?
It feels like
I’ve written the same poem
A thousand times.
I miss you,
I love you
I hate you
I wish you were dead
You’re always that voice
Bleeding inside me
Getting in my head
I’d die for you
I’ve cried for you
I’ll wait for you
I hope you’re somewhere
Safe and warm
Kicking it back
With someone new
My heart is cold
Revenge is sweet
I hate myself
My insecurities
Run too deep
And in the end
It’s all the same
Every day becomes
The last
Each moment becomes
A distant past
You stay the same
Never changed
A beautiful face
No one new
Could fill your shoes
No one else
Can take your place.
//one thousand and one…
I push you away
It’s all I know to do
Tell myself it will be okay
I might be fine without you
You’ll move on
Seasons will change
Someone will come
To take your breathe away
Every memory of me
Will become a distant footprint
On your heart
That ran astray
Each sweet word I said
Will sound sweeter
With someone new
Each fingerprint I left
Will fade into her skin instead
//someone new
I let you in
As if it meant nothing
A passing thought
One shot ringing
Through the dark
You crept in
Wandering endlessly
Bleeding into my veins
Holding my heart
Hostage to your pain
Taking my life
As if it’s all
You ever wanted
As if it meant nothing
//to kill me slowly
Was it really worth it?
Still.
I saw myself in you
A reflection I didn’t want to see
It kept me coming back
Just to find out more
To discover the reasons
You were just like me
Sealed and bonded
Fated to our past
Dark memories corroding
Every bit of sentiment
We had inside of us to last
I told myself it was a lie
That I could fall in love
With someone like you
Since I’ve eternally hated
Every single piece of me
And in the end it turns out
I still do.
//hate you
And just like the autumn
You passed right through me
All the vibrancy, the color
The smell of promise in the air
Embraced by the longing
To breathe again, to love again..
Falling, falling
A leaf drifting in the wind
Landing on the ground
Surrounded by the masses
To lay rotting, decaying
Waiting to be buried
To be forgotten
//decay
sitting in this silence
basking in it’s taste
empty where you once were
a darkness left
in your place
and for a moment
i still feel you on my skin
i’d go to any depth to keep digging
to the ends of the earth to keep fighting
for the belief that you’re still mine
//no one is you
cold spaces
deep valleys,
dark alleys
you miss the sun
underneath covers
silken with longing
for the taste
of your skin
always chasing
always wanting
for the ghost
//sin of her
standing on the edge
about to lose it all
trying to find my footing
waiting for the fall
i never saw it coming
this love like a disease
throwing chaos to the wind
then I was drowning
when you came calling
i’ve never soared so high
nor hit the ground so hard
then when you took me by the hand
only to feel like in the end
this heart of mine
will die
//losing you
If you follow me
I’d take all your sorrow
I’ll want for nothing
Memorizing every muscle,
Every hill, every valley
Taste every note,
All the layers of your skin
Not a single part of me
Will resist any piece of you
If you follow me
I’d pull you in
Grasp on to any beauty
Beneath the ugliness
Pulsing with longing
Feeling home in your arms
Your breath the elixir
I need to live
Your bleeding heart
Pouring every ache,
Every pain, Into mine
//for I know what it is to love darkness
